Affirmation of the Self — Healing by Choice!

Writing and visual art by Rhiannon Chester

“Sticks and stone may break my bones…”

And words are actually powerful!

How many times in your life have you heard the old saying or even said it yourself? Though baked in good intentions, it is not completely true. It fails to account for the power words carry and the impacts words have on shaping our lives. Words inform and influence so much in our world and historically some people’s words have held more weight in shaping policy and laws that impact our lives daily. If words have the power to shape oppressive systems then they also have the power to liberate us - personally and politically!

All of us have a secret world of words - the thoughts and conversations we have about and with ourselves. The world of self-talk!

According to Psychology Today, “this inner voice, or self-talk, combining conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs and biases, provide a way for the brain to interpret and process daily experience.” It can be affirming or self-defeating and unfortunately it tends to lean towards negative self-talk. The beautiful thing is that we get to harness the restorative, rejuvenating and generative power of words changing the landscape of your inner world. It takes practice, true! So here are a couple of my practices that may help you on your journey to affirming self-talk.

Reframing

Reframing invites us to notice how our inner talk makes us feel. Body language can be a great indicator of feelings.

Step 1: Think of something self-doubting, self-defeating or something you feel you should do that you haven’t. (i.e: “I should be writing if I want to be a writer” or “what’s wrong with me? I’m so stupid.” ) and notice how it feels and what your body does. Are you disappointed? Sad? Do you cross your arms? Does you chest cave inward?

Step 2: Release that thought and think about how you can reframe it. Think of what opportunities the task presents you. Think in terms of “I get to” or “I want to”.

Step 3: Speak the affirmative reframe to yourself. (i.e. “I want to tell my story through my writing” or “I get to try again”) Notice how you feel and how your body responds.

Step 4: Repeat.

Affirming Your Best Self

This activity gives us the opportunity to see self determined affirmations daily as a loving reminder.

Step 1: Find a picture of yourself that you love or use a mirror.

Step 2: Write down characteristics (physical, spiritual, emotional etc.) you love about yourself.

Step 3: Add them to your picture or mirror.

Step 4: Read them aloud saying “I love [insert characteristic]”.